Friday, August 22, 2014

Is It Love?

So yeah I need a space to write about how I feel.
Dude I don't really know what I'm feeling but I know it's love;you know when you get butterflies in the stomach,you suddenly feel so calm but at the same time you feel like your blood is running out;your hands are so pale but you dont feel sick and you suddenly feel so nervous,
your heart's beating like they're gonna explode.
It feels so warm yet so cold,
so wrong yet so right,
so stupid yet so smart,
so comfy but then you feel like to run away,
Is it love?
What am I feeling?
From the very first start I told myself not to be in love with him,I don't want to but it seems like life just want to fuck me out.
You know when things happen accidentally and you can't do anything about it.
But I'm scared. I'm scared of something might not happen the way I think of it. I'm scared if I'm the one who love but I'm actually not being loved. I'm scared if my friends will hate me.
I'm scared of everything.
I told myself to control my feelings,
but day by day,It's getting stronger than ever.I don't want to give myself high hopes and at the end of the road,I'll be the one who watch them fall and crash.
It's hard and it's complicated argh

4 letter words.
Makes me crazy,
Why do I desperately need to be loved?
I don't wanna be one of the sluts,
It's lust,
I can't control it,
My heart is so weak,
Dude stop doing this to me,stop making me crazy,stop playing with my heart,stop being nice to me,stop it just stop.